Creative Connections For Loneliness
Loneliness. We have all experienced it, and yet most of us don’t lead with sharing that we feel lonely. Why is that? Perhaps the images on social media that we see everyday of folks with their friends, having the time of their lives implies that if you aren't always surrounded by friends then something is wrong with you.
Of course we logically know that most people only show the sparkly moments on their IG feed, and yet, especially for us ND humans, the pang of loneliness touches on our friendship challenges and we can spiral downward.
I hadn’t prepared to present on friendship skills in group this week. It wasn’t very long ago that when a group veered into uncharted territory I would be slightly frozen (think deer in headlights). However, I can truly say that I now feel delighted when this happens - mainly because it tells me that our group is working, members are being vulnerable and sharing what they really need. Side note, veering off of my planned topic gives my divergent brain a puzzle to solve, which I love!
As my therapist would often say “vulnerability is power”. Not in a power hungry type of way, but in a “vulnerability will pull people closer to you” type of way. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention NVC here. NVC is hands down the coolest way to learn how to connect with others, as well as yourself! Look up self-empathy if you’d like a step by step description. Future blog post alert! “Why NVC is RAD!”
Okay, I digress. Back to what we did in group this week. This is not an exhaustive list of skills for when you want to make friends or romantic partners. This list is a starting point, and it’s a work in progress. Please reach out and share what you do to make new friends - I’d love to add it to the list!
Friendship skills:
Go to the same places at the same time so you become known to others and they become known to you. I.e. go to the same yoga class each week. The research shows something very cool. The single biggest factor to becoming well liked is being familiar.
Take a class so you are meeting people that share your interests. Ideas - a class at the gym, improv, singing, gardening or pottery...anything that interests you!
For maintaining long distance friendships:
Make a collage of your friends who you would like to remember to stay in touch with and have it up on your wall.
Add calendar reminders to reach out to the “collage friends”.